The Dirty Dutch

The Daily Gobble x YouTube

Have you ever scrolled through YouTube only to find yourself watching a video of a man choke on uncooked baked beans? Have you ever gotten recommendations so strange that you wondered if the algorithm is signaling to you for help? I have. I thought I would share them with you in an effort to expand your horizons.

We all consume real news to stay informed, and watch content for entertainment, but what you stumble across as a passive user of the internet is the 1% of content. I think it’s important to understand what the 99% looks like. The content that is actually floating around out there. These videos are not just a reflection of what some people are thinking; they represent the kind of thoughts that are so intense, so deeply felt, that people actually film themselves and share them with the world. It’s like a peek into the real psyche of the public, and trust me, it’s a worth knowing about.

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Today’s Highlights

1) Genius Comedy? A Strange Idiot? WTF IS THIS?

This is the strangest YouTube channel I have found in a while. The guy has 500k subs. He makes fake videos of those like wholesome videos where people pretend to be homeless and ask for a dollar, and then when somebody gives them a dollar they give them back $100 for being so nice. Now, people know most of those videos are fake… but these ones are egregiously fake. He re-uses the same ~15 actors in every video. He has to be shitting, right? What on EARTH is this? Either way, I’m mesmerized. The level of cringe is off the charts. The level of disgust is not far behind. The best part of this channel is the comments. It’s gotta be comedy. And if it is, I’m a big supporter of this movement. I mean come… on… https://www.youtube.com/shorts/YiSrpfWOUxE — so good.

2) The Netherlands Wins 3x3 Olympic Basketball – Oh… cool?

The Netherlands won the 3x3 basketball tournament at the Olympics. This raises an important question: Why do we have 3x3 basketball in the Olympics? All the top players are busy competing in regular the basketball event. It’s not like beach volleyball, where the different material of the ground creates a totally different skill set. 3x3 basketball is essentially just regular basketball but with fewer players and a lower skill level. If you put Lebron, KD, and Steph Curry out there, they will win. In fairness, I like the idea as much as the next person. It’s fun to watch streetball style basketball. But what is the point of watching somebody win a gold medal in basketball when the 100 best players in the world didn’t compete? What is going on? Who allowed this? There are 2 players from the Netherlands currently in the NBA. But somehow, the Dutch won gold in basketball. I love the Dutch. Don’t get me wrong… Anyone who knows me knows I love the Dutch. But this whole fucking operation is not even in the vicinity of kosher.

Most importantly:

3) Must-Watch: The Dwayne “The Mushroom” Johnson

I’ve found a video that you really must see to believe: This guy Paul Bryson scares me.

Have you ever wondered what happens when you mix too many magic mushrooms with severe roid rage? The result is this man-thing: an unnerving cocktail of incel philosophy, schizophrenic rants, and a homeless Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson vibe. His “inspirational” message boils down to: “I’m better than you.” Additionally, he looks like an emoji with no features added to him. Why do people follow him? Maybe it’s like watching a car crash—you can’t look away. I’m happy this only has like 1,000 views, but still shocked that it has any views at all. Some of the comments are positive. Is this actually relatable? Either way, it’s both fascinating and disturbing to know not only that this guy is out there somewhere, but that 8,000 people felt a need to subscribe to his YouTube channel.